I really want to talk about the menopause. But then again I don't. Everyone is talking about it. Like it's a massive fad with pills and potions galore, like it doesn’t effect every women at some point in their life - that’s 3.8billion in case you were wondering. And the menopause mania has been building and building over the last few years. In all honestly, I'm very pleased that it's got the exposure it so deserves and that it's not some unspoken thing which relies on nods, winks and snide comments to explain it.
For me, from what I can see, experience or understand, menopause is a bit like pregnancy or life even., Some people sail through it not really sure what the fuss is about and others suffer. Some terribly.
I'm not sure which one I am yet. I'm 51 years old, have some odd stuff going on, but I'm still as regular as clockwork so who knows. And I don't know about you but I'm now bombarded across many channels including LinkedIn and quite frankly I'm getting a bit bored and also really confused.
Oh the irony, as I now write about menopause. On LinkedIn.
It's hard to determine what's useful, what's just another 'fad' product someone is peddling to cure all, or which workshop you should attend designed to help you understand how to deal with the menopause as a sufferer, husband, child, friend, employer.
I recently went to see Bupa for a menopause consultation, mainly because my mate, who is also the same age and struggling with some stuff, suggested it might be a good idea. An hour later and £300 lighter, I felt it was just an excuse to talk about and peddle HRT. I'm not sure I learnt anymore than I already knew. But we did have wine and lunch after so that softened the blow. It also got me thinking that when you do get to a certain age, the menopause becomes a 'catch all' of ills. Depression = menopause. Bad skin = menopause. Insomnia = menopause. It may well be, but all your aches and pains past a certain point seem to be lumped into the melting pot of menopause.
Don't get me wrong, I want people to be able to talk about the menopause. I don't want it to be a taboo subject. I don't mind if people take the piss (as long as it's openly). But is it not all a bit too much now? It's in the open. We're talking about it. We're no longer ashamed. People have to take you seriously, surely.
I have friends who 'specialise' in this area who still don't really know everything and why things happen to certain people and not others. I have friends who are suffering badly, whose relationships are on the rocks because of it, I also have friends who have sailed through or are sailing through the menopause. The realty is, from my viewpoint, is that it's all a bit hard to get to grips with, even the professionals struggle to help you see the wood for the trees, opting to adopt a 'one size fits all approach' but we're all very different and we will all experience it in different way. So we should be treated in different ways.
Your body changes so much during this time too - just like pregnancy. Which is a weird juxtaposition really. You spend most of your youth thinking you're too fat, your legs wobble too much, your arse should be smaller or plumper and your boobs should be able to stand up on their own. Then, by the time you get comfortable with yourself and your own skin, however floppy - it goes and bloody changes again!!!
We're edging into 2024, we're women of all shapes, sizes and backgrounds and we will all go through this at some point in our lives, so surely it's ok to say you're having a shitty day without feeling judged.
Now I’ve got that off my chest!
In my opinion, as an employer, the best thing you can do is put stuff in place for your people so they know support is available. Then that way if they need to nip off because they're having a tough time then it's a safe space for them to do just that. We don't need to ram the M word down peoples neck. A bit like mental health, general wellbeing or allyship and other areas that needed to be championed and spotlighted, just being aware and providing the support and infrastructure for your people as and when they need it is really important but we are not all built the same and we don't all feel the same - and that's ok.
Employers are also just that, employers. They are not parents, they are not teachers, they absolutely should care about their people, they should make sure that when they’re in their care they are supported with tools and techniques to help them.
Menopause is now very firmly out in the open, it's not shameful anymore. So can we just dial it back a bit please?.
And for all you lovely ladies out there struggling right now, then this might make you smile…
WARNING: If you don't like flowery language then please don't watch the #fleabag clip
Also, I have heard and read a few things that people might find useful.
